WHAT HAS AGE GOT TO DO WITH THIS?
Age is one of the factor that need to be considered when choosing a life partners especially in this part of the world, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that the success of such relationship depends on age factor. If we say age is just a number , we wont be far from the truth and if we also says it matters, its not false as well. Research show that women who marrieds men who are a little bit older than them enjoy more tolerance, understanding and affection from such men, even though this might not be in all cases. Success in marriage depends largely on the level of understanding between couples as well as compatibility, Even if the wife is younger and there’s no understanding, that marriage might crash.
Just like i stated earlier, significantly older men tends to be more tolerance and could be more possessive sometimes as well. One cannot state the benefits and disadvantages categorically, but these few are trends that are common to such relationships/marriage:
- Older men tends to be more tolerance and caring
- Older men tend to be more possessive
- Most time older women are more financially stable
- Its difficult to command the needed respect to boost a man’s ego from an older woman in most cases.
- There will be serious hurdles to cross in form of friends and family interference.
Marrying someone with significant age differences shouldn’t be a big deal, at least its not in the developed world, but the fact remains that African has not developed to that level, a lot of people will frown at it and mount pressure that might start choking the relationship/marriage.
To enter into this kind of relationship/marriage, there are few questions one should ask:
- What is the motive? Are you entering that relationship because you are in love and will like to spend the resort of your life with that man/woman or you are doing it for material gain. If the motive is wrong the marriage will not survive. If the foundation be destroyed, what can anyone do?
- Are you ready to live with the consequences of your action? If you find yourself in a function where your friends spouses are almost their age, will you still be happy to flaunt your partner without feeling ashamed. You must be ready to stand by your decisions and see your choice as the best irrespective of what anyone thinks or says, if not there will be crises.
- Culturally or religiously speaking, the man remains the head of the family and not the other way round, as a woman, if you are dating or marrying a younger man, are you willing to respect him irrespective?
When it comes to the issue of ideal age gap between partners, there’s no one size fits all, or one age fits all. What works for couple A might not work for couple B, in as much as there is understanding and compatibility age remains a factor. But one should also consider the number of years especially when the older is a woman, 10 years and above might be way to high for a man who wants to be respected by his wife, even in the developed world, some people will still frown at outrageous age gap in such cases.
I always counsel couples in this situation that they should keep their little secret to themselves as much as possible, the less people that knows about their age differences the better for them. Having a wonderful marriage is not age dependent though it could be a factor, what matters is compatibility, understanding and the determination to make it work.