lagosweddings

MARRIAGE, WHAT HAS AGE GOT TO DO WITH IT?

WHAT HAS AGE GOT TO DO WITH THIS?
Age is one of the factor that need to be considered when choosing a life partners especially in this part of the world, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that the success of such relationship depends on age factor. If we say age is just a number , we wont be far from the truth and if we also says it matters, its not false as well. Research show that women who marrieds men who are a little bit older than them enjoy more tolerance, understanding and affection from such men, even though this might not be in all cases. Success in marriage depends largely on the level of understanding between couples as well as compatibility, Even if the wife is younger and there’s no understanding, that marriage might crash.

Just like i stated earlier, significantly older men tends to be more tolerance and could be more possessive sometimes as well. One cannot state the benefits and disadvantages categorically, but these few are trends that are common to such relationships/marriage:

  • Older men tends to be more tolerance and caring
  • Older men tend to be more possessive
  • Most time older women are more financially stable
  • Its difficult to command the needed respect to boost a man’s ego from an older woman in most cases.
  • There will be serious hurdles to cross in form of friends and family interference.

Marrying someone with significant age differences shouldn’t be a big deal, at least its not in the developed world, but the fact remains that African has not developed to that level, a lot of people will frown at it and mount pressure that might start choking the relationship/marriage.

To enter into this kind of relationship/marriage, there are few questions one should ask:

  • What is the motive? Are you entering that relationship because you are in love and will like to spend the resort of your life with that man/woman or you are doing it for material gain. If the motive is wrong the marriage will not survive. If the foundation be destroyed, what can anyone do?
  • Are you ready to live with the consequences of your action? If you find yourself in a function where your friends spouses are almost their age, will you still be happy to flaunt your partner without feeling ashamed. You must be ready to stand by your decisions and see your choice as the best irrespective of what anyone thinks or says, if not there will be crises.
  • Culturally or religiously speaking, the man remains the head of the family and not the other way round, as a woman, if you are dating or marrying a younger man, are you willing to respect him irrespective?

When it comes to the issue of ideal age gap between partners, there’s no one size fits all, or one age fits all. What works for couple A might not work for couple B, in as much as there is understanding and compatibility age remains a factor. But one should also consider the number of years especially when the older is a woman, 10 years and above might be way to high for a man who wants to be respected by his wife, even in the developed world, some people will still frown at outrageous age gap in such cases.

I always counsel couples in this situation that they should keep their little secret to themselves as much as possible, the less people that knows about their age differences the better for them. Having a wonderful marriage is not age dependent though it could be a factor, what matters is compatibility, understanding and the determination to make it work.

WHY MOST MARRIAGES DON’T LAST – PART 1

Why Most Marriages Don’t Last? Part 1
It is sometime confusing or should I say amazing when one considers the high number of marriages recorded all over the world every week. Yet, every week in different parts of the world and different jurisdictions, we have as much numbers of divorce suits filed in different cadres of courts.
Marriage has been defined as a relationship between Husband and Wife. It has also been defined as a union of a Man and Woman who have agreed to be bound together as husband and wife. Being curious, the second definition in particular referred to man and woman. This definition simply prompted my thought in the direction of whether gay marriage same sex marriage is permissible or should exist at all. However, that is a topic for another day.
I researched carefully and ‘unfortunately’ I could not see my desired definition of Marriage which would have been simply put thus: ‘A marriage is a union of a couple who were inspired by deep love and affection and chose to be united as husband and wife’. If my expectation of what marriage should mean or how it should be defined is too ambitious, then, I therefore have no option than to restrict myself to the definition as prescribed by the undisputed wise men of history. The issue therefore is: Why are most marriages short-lived? The answer is multi-dimensional and shall be x-rayed under the two headings of Primary and Secondary Causes: I shall deal 1st with primary causes:

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The 1st primary cause of a short-lived marriage could be attributed to the missing phrase in the definition of Marriage – True Love. Research has shown that many marriages failed because of the sudden disappearance of love between the couples. A true love does not fade, therefore cannot disappear. Many people go into relationship claiming to be in love mainly because of an attraction; it could be combination of some or any of the following: good looks, riches, fame, brilliance, or position. It is only commonsensical that none of the foregoing could be said to breed true love, rather it can only encourage likeness. There was a genuine feeling, but there was no genuine love. Most of the attributes enumerated above can only encourage serious likeness but definitely not love. It takes more than physical attraction or endowment or position in life for true love to develop. Love is more spiritual, it does not develop overnight, it grows gradually and it is more empirical than assumption. Likeness is often mistaken for Love and the couples with erroneous proclamation of love for each other hastily get married. The consequence of such anomaly is regular misunderstandings and inability to tolerate each other and ultimately, the couple after a couple of months or years of managing the union will get frustrated and follow different paths.
Another reason for a short-lived marriage could be total lack of feelings. This kind of situation arises where the marriage is a Marriage of Convenience. Marriage of convenience is aimed at satisfying a certain need of either or both couple. In this situation, it is not just that there is no love, but there is also absence of emotional feelings. It could be an imposition by parents or guardian or by voluntary contraction. It is a marriage that survives only on toleration. Sometimes it lasts forever, where it lasts long, and the couple lives a miserable life of trying to manage and make the marriage work; but most times the marriage collapse midway.
To be continued: In the next edition, I’ll delve further on other causes of short-lived marriage.
Ade Adegbite.

AMAZING NIGERIAN TRADITIONAL WEDDING CAKES!

Over the years, bakers in Africa rely on their international counterparts for ideas on latest cake designs, all that are things of the past now as cake makers in this part of the world are now looking inward to connect to their creative and artistic mind. Cakes, these days has gone beyond the traditional circular or rectangular shaped styles, its a whole lot of art and designs. Cakes now speaks volumes about the theme of ceremonies like weddings and even says a lot about the personalities of the couples or celebrants. In fact traditional wedding cakes in Nigeria has gone to another level that showcasing these beautiful pieces to the world wont be a bad idea. Most engagements are not completed without the marvel of the traditional cake to wow the guests… cakes so beautiful that cutting becomes a pain…lol…. Check out these few random samples of traditional wedding cakes in Nigeria, you can be inspired , you know.

 

THE WACKIEST OR THE PRETTIEST – PRE-WEDDING PHOTOSHOOT

Every lady dreams of a beautiful fairy tale like wedding ceremony. Some spends hours on daily basis planning themes and colors of their dream weddings. The interest in beautiful weddings for the female folks is not a sign of desperation as some men misinterpreted, its just a confirmation of the soft, flowery and beautiful nature of women.

Pre-wedding photo-shoot, though has been for ages, is becoming more popular now with couples being more creative and expressive. Whether you have been planning it for years or you just stumbled upon a breathtaking pre -wedding photos you like on the internet, keeping it simple and real is the rule of the game. You should be able to see your photos in the nearest future and feel satisfied.

Your pre-wedding photos could Depicts:

  1. the journey of your relationship
  2. the expected beautiful ending of your love story
  3. The expression of how you feel about each other
  4. your thought about life
  5. the title of your relationship/marriage, like giving it a movie tittle
  6. your personality and thought about life

The list can go on and on, but the conclusion is , you should have something in mind before your pre-wedding shoot. Something that look abstract to others but have deep meaning to the two of you.

From the wackiest, to the funniest, the beautiful, the traditional, the simple, the good and the ugly……. check out these samples of pre-wedding photo-shoot across the world, maybe, just maybe you might be inspired.

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